Sam,
As much as I know you hate hearin' 'bout her hobbies and shit, this is why Kit knits so much. It's her stress relief, her way of keeping her hands occupied so she doesn't go on a killing spree like the rest of the pack's afraid she would if she didn't have it.
God... I didn't want it to end, either. Love watching how much pleasure I give you when I'm in you, thrusting... Feeling your body on mine. Love knowing how much you enjoy it.
I can understand wanting to just chill and hide in your room, considering the stess you're dealing with.
Treasure the good moments you have with him, babe.
Y'know what? I hated seeing you move away from the friends you had, away from your home. Where you are isn't your home, the friends you have now... I don't trust them all that much. And you know what? I have a feeling you'll be getting something good for all you do. Maybe not now but soon.
Keep saving what you can, 'cause you never know if you'll need that plan.
Love always,
Mark
Friday, August 19, 2011
Mark IIII
Mark,
I guess no matter how hard I try, I don't know what to do. One minute I'm unstressed, and then the next I'm not. I'm more pissed off and annoyed. Last night did help, but I wished it would've lasted longer. I wish the pleasure didn't stop, I love seeing you ontop of me. Having your powerful, hard body rubbing against my soft one.
I'm bored with my life. I have no energy as of late to do anything. All I wanna do is watch The Simpsons and lay in bed all day. Maybe read...
No matter how pissed off I get at my uncle, I guess we have our moments. As for my ol' man... He's fucked up. When I was younger, I didn't understand why he wasn't there for me, or why he never stuck up for me. But as I got older, I slowly learned the truth and came to hate my dad. There was a time where he wouldn't call for months on end and he wouldn't see me for a year. When we were moving to Vancouver, he showed up almost every other weekend. I hated him for doing that. Why was he entering my life now? Questions ran throughout my head, but I quickly squashed them, knowing that I wouldn't get the answer that I desired.
I hated moving. At first, I was excited. But as time grew on, I started hating myself. I hated the very person I am and I loved the person I was. I didn't wanna make new friends, I didn't plan on love. I wanted to go to college and that was that. The most exciting part of living here was when mom broke up with Dallas. That slob was pissing me off because he kept eating all my food. He left messes and it wasn't healthy. He kept fucking up and I hated him for it. I hated my mom for dating him. I thought life would get better, but it didn't.
Most days, I'm tired of holding back. I'm tired of living in my shell and being polite to people. I wanna break the rules and break the laws. I'm tired of being my friends "Concious". I hate mine, why would I wanna be anybody elses? I hate being the person that gives and gives and asks for nothing in return. When I go to college, I'll show them. I'll show everybody that I can make it.
I wanna run away and never look back. You see, the way I planned it all out was I'd save enough money and then leave during the night. I'd change my name (which I already know what it is.), I'll change my identity and leave the states and start over.
I don't know anymore,
Love,
Sam
I guess no matter how hard I try, I don't know what to do. One minute I'm unstressed, and then the next I'm not. I'm more pissed off and annoyed. Last night did help, but I wished it would've lasted longer. I wish the pleasure didn't stop, I love seeing you ontop of me. Having your powerful, hard body rubbing against my soft one.
I'm bored with my life. I have no energy as of late to do anything. All I wanna do is watch The Simpsons and lay in bed all day. Maybe read...
No matter how pissed off I get at my uncle, I guess we have our moments. As for my ol' man... He's fucked up. When I was younger, I didn't understand why he wasn't there for me, or why he never stuck up for me. But as I got older, I slowly learned the truth and came to hate my dad. There was a time where he wouldn't call for months on end and he wouldn't see me for a year. When we were moving to Vancouver, he showed up almost every other weekend. I hated him for doing that. Why was he entering my life now? Questions ran throughout my head, but I quickly squashed them, knowing that I wouldn't get the answer that I desired.
I hated moving. At first, I was excited. But as time grew on, I started hating myself. I hated the very person I am and I loved the person I was. I didn't wanna make new friends, I didn't plan on love. I wanted to go to college and that was that. The most exciting part of living here was when mom broke up with Dallas. That slob was pissing me off because he kept eating all my food. He left messes and it wasn't healthy. He kept fucking up and I hated him for it. I hated my mom for dating him. I thought life would get better, but it didn't.
Most days, I'm tired of holding back. I'm tired of living in my shell and being polite to people. I wanna break the rules and break the laws. I'm tired of being my friends "Concious". I hate mine, why would I wanna be anybody elses? I hate being the person that gives and gives and asks for nothing in return. When I go to college, I'll show them. I'll show everybody that I can make it.
I wanna run away and never look back. You see, the way I planned it all out was I'd save enough money and then leave during the night. I'd change my name (which I already know what it is.), I'll change my identity and leave the states and start over.
I don't know anymore,
Love,
Sam
Sam III
Sam,
Mmm, last night... I truly hope that helped you relax like you needed to so bad. All the stress... Especially from your ol' man... Remember, he knows you're better right now than he'll ever be so he'll always be trying to bring y'down.
The shitter... Pretty damn apt description of it right now. Just remember, you can draw on the rest of the pack if you need help, not just me or Kit. And as for not remembering what happened last night... Might be a damn good thing, cause we fragged Kit's Shields pretty damn good...
Getting away from the drama is good, but not through dyin', babe... Y'never know if you'll wind up her with us or... Somewhere else. When Eddie died, it took him awhile to get to us and he hadn't committed suicide.
I know you're hating your shields sucking... Just remember, we're all here to help.
All I can say is to remember you're so much better than your uncle is... You aren't mean like he is.
I know you want a break from all the drama... But remember, you'll be happier when you get into your own place in college! You'll be away from the idiot uncle!
Don't ever forget how much I love you, darlin' Sam!
Always and forever,
Mark
Mark III
Mark,
Damn you for getting me last night. I was fully prepared to go to sleep. Then you nuzzled my neck and your hands roamed my body, trying to wake me up out of my peaceful doze. When you finally did, you entwined our fingers together, and we cried out in pleasure together.
I don't know what happened last night, but I was really tired and frazzled out. Everybody is counting on me for the 30th and I don't want to let them down. Things are going in the shitter really fast and it won't slow down. I'm struggling just to keep up with the every day demands that are usually required of me.
I'm tired of people's bullshit and drama... I wish I could just go away, change my name, location, and everything about me if just to escape reality for awhile. I wish I was dead, that way when I go into "My Heaven" I'll be with you and at the Ranch forever.
My dad called me yesterday. He tried pulling the guilt trip over and over again. (He called twice). It didn't work, but for a split second, it did. Try as I mgiht, my shields are going to shit and I try everyday to get them to go back to being strong once again. Sometimes, your strength just isn't enough. Sometimes, I have to do shit on my own, even if it frightens me.
Tomorrow is Saturday and mom wants me to go on a trip with her. I'm all for it, it's just I wonder how long everything will take, I mean... I have alot of shit to do, but I wanna get away from my uncle, who's been pissing me off alot lately and he's making me feel like shit and he doesn't even realize it.
I'm writing you this letter because it seems like you're the only one who'll listen. The only one who hears my cries for help and my screams for sanity. I need to get away from reality. I need a break from life. I need to get the fuck out of here and I'm prepared to do it anyway possible.
Well, that's all I have to write, I guess.
Love,
Sam.
Damn you for getting me last night. I was fully prepared to go to sleep. Then you nuzzled my neck and your hands roamed my body, trying to wake me up out of my peaceful doze. When you finally did, you entwined our fingers together, and we cried out in pleasure together.
I don't know what happened last night, but I was really tired and frazzled out. Everybody is counting on me for the 30th and I don't want to let them down. Things are going in the shitter really fast and it won't slow down. I'm struggling just to keep up with the every day demands that are usually required of me.
I'm tired of people's bullshit and drama... I wish I could just go away, change my name, location, and everything about me if just to escape reality for awhile. I wish I was dead, that way when I go into "My Heaven" I'll be with you and at the Ranch forever.
My dad called me yesterday. He tried pulling the guilt trip over and over again. (He called twice). It didn't work, but for a split second, it did. Try as I mgiht, my shields are going to shit and I try everyday to get them to go back to being strong once again. Sometimes, your strength just isn't enough. Sometimes, I have to do shit on my own, even if it frightens me.
Tomorrow is Saturday and mom wants me to go on a trip with her. I'm all for it, it's just I wonder how long everything will take, I mean... I have alot of shit to do, but I wanna get away from my uncle, who's been pissing me off alot lately and he's making me feel like shit and he doesn't even realize it.
I'm writing you this letter because it seems like you're the only one who'll listen. The only one who hears my cries for help and my screams for sanity. I need to get away from reality. I need a break from life. I need to get the fuck out of here and I'm prepared to do it anyway possible.
Well, that's all I have to write, I guess.
Love,
Sam.
Memories
"All of my memories keep you near"
Oh, how I wish that were true, but the memory of you keeps me numb. The very mention of your name feels strange on my tongue as I try and forget everything and anything about you.
"Darling you know I'll love you til the end of time"
No matter what I do, I can't seem to forget about you. My heart can't stop loving you, no matter how hard I try and forget you.
"If you love me, let me go!"
Let me go. Forget about me. Forget about everything we ever had. Forget the happiness, the sadness, the anger, the love.
"I still press your letters to my lips and cherish them in parts of me that sever with every kiss"
The letters you wrote. The notes you wrote. Is it suppose to be enough? I press them to my lips as the tears come down my face. I sob for the fact that I hate myself for loving you. Sometimes, I wish you weren't my friend... It'd be easier to hate you... But I can't..
"You asked me to love you and I did"
You asked me and I did. I love you, Mark.
"Love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage, again"
What is our love? How far does it go? I question myself...
I love you, Mark... Never forget.
Oh, how I wish that were true, but the memory of you keeps me numb. The very mention of your name feels strange on my tongue as I try and forget everything and anything about you.
"Darling you know I'll love you til the end of time"
No matter what I do, I can't seem to forget about you. My heart can't stop loving you, no matter how hard I try and forget you.
"If you love me, let me go!"
Let me go. Forget about me. Forget about everything we ever had. Forget the happiness, the sadness, the anger, the love.
"I still press your letters to my lips and cherish them in parts of me that sever with every kiss"
The letters you wrote. The notes you wrote. Is it suppose to be enough? I press them to my lips as the tears come down my face. I sob for the fact that I hate myself for loving you. Sometimes, I wish you weren't my friend... It'd be easier to hate you... But I can't..
"You asked me to love you and I did"
You asked me and I did. I love you, Mark.
"Love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage, again"
What is our love? How far does it go? I question myself...
I love you, Mark... Never forget.
I'm sorry
Sam,
I'm sorry Mark's pack isn't good enough, I'm sorry I'm not stronger... You deserve better than us.
Kat
I'm sorry Mark's pack isn't good enough, I'm sorry I'm not stronger... You deserve better than us.
Kat
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sam II
Dearest Sam,
I hate when you're in a funk and pull away... You know I'll support you even more then. Just hate seeing you down or really stressed as hell.
And hell yes, I'll make you the happiest woman in the world. You know I'll always roll with you, babe.
To be honest... I feel the same way with you. I'm damn lucky that you love me. And I admit, I wasn't sure at first if you were just an overzealous fan or if you truly did love me, but you kept workin' at my defenses. You broke through and pulled out the caring person that I didn't know I had. And I trust you so much.
When we met, I wanted to make you mine, and you surprised me with how much you wanted me as yours, how much you still do. And to be honest, I will always want you here with me, keeping me sane and happy.
I wish I had told you back then how much I love you, but we have each other now, always will.
Always and forever your man,
Mark
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)