Friday, June 14, 2013

Saige

Saige
By: Rio
Saige
            When I had realized that it was now summer vacation, I almost jumped for joy. Don’t get me wrong, I love summer vacation, I really do. Means I get to work all summer and take time off to do something, to maybe travel. Unlike my nieces and my sibling (Kimber), I’m not going to summer camp. I’ve always wanted to go to Europe, maybe France or Germany. My sister, Willow, lives in Tokyo and my other sister, Ana, lives in London with my nieces. I already went to Vegas to check out the new mob museum—which, by the way, is amazing. I’ll be a freshman in high school come fall. Am I excited? Well, a little. I’ll be going to the same high school that (almost) all of my siblings went too, so the staff knows us all—which, to me, seems a little, strange. But oh well, not much I can do about that. I think it’s going to be weird going into summer because I’ve spent all year in school and doing homework, to now being able to sleep in and relax. I can finally start to sketch full time again! I’m so excited about that, I really am. During the summer time, I usually volunteer at a few places, so I might do that again. My favorite seasons are fall and winter, just because it gets colder outside. I’m like my mom in that way—I hate the summer and the hotness. The only time she can stand all the hotness is if she’s working out or on stage. Me? The only way that I can stand the heat is if I’m out jogging and playing sports. I love basketball and football. When my brothers get together during Thanksgiving, all of them play tackle football (Gabe is a professional football player; he’s the quarterback for the San Fran Sabers—the number 1 football team) and they let me play. Now that I’m older, like last Thanksgiving, we all played and I came out all bruised, but I told them that I was fine. I love my brothers. I have 11 brothers and not including me, 24 sisters. That makes 36 of us all in total. I’m close to all my siblings (even if they live in all different places)—all of them are very successful—except for Reagan. She doesn’t seem very happy, considering she got pregnant when she was 16 and she’s been trying to get her life back together ever since. Riley, on the other hand, is doing very well. She waited to have kids and get married until after college, just like our sister, Jinny.
            A few of my siblings are visiting for a few days; Gabe, Junior, Liam, and I think Jay and Rose. I had already told you about Gabe, but Junior is a firefighter in the Miami area. Liam is a professional lacrosse player, Jay is a professional baseball player, and Rose is an elementary school teacher. Rose really loves her job and everybody loves her and I don’t blame them. Rose is really pretty and she just has one of those personalities to where you can’t help but like her. We’re all a close knit family and none of us would change that for anything. If one of us younger kids got into trouble or somebody was picking on us, one of the older siblings would stick up for us.
            I don’t really have a favorite sibling. If I did, it would probably be Junior. I don’t really know why. Anyway, I was sitting on my bed, sketching when Rose knocked on the door and came in.
            “Hey!” She greeted as I smiled faintly, greeting her back.
            “How come you’re not downstairs with the rest of us?” She asked as I shrugged
            “Because I see mom and the rest every day. This is your guys’ time with them.” I explained as she sat at the foot of my bed.
            “I see. How was school this year?” She asked as I shrugged once again
            “Pretty good. I passed with A’s and B’s.” I informed her as she smiled.
            “Congratulations.”
            “How was your year?” I asked
            “Good. I got a good bunch of students” She smiled and told me all about her year as I listened.
***
            It was nice having some of the older kids back; means the house is full of life again (like it wasn’t before, but I love it when it’s like this). I watched everybody from my perch in the rafters as Junior threw a ball up at me as I caught it, looking down at him.
            “C’mon down, baby.” He smiled at me as I jumped down, settling next to him.
Junior and I are really close. Probably closer than any of our other siblings—well, he’s close with all of our brothers, but that’s another story. Junior’s single and he’s very good looking. Whoa… Where did that come from? I shook my head and nestled close to him. He was wearing blue jeans with boots and a black tank top that stretched across his muscled chest. Stop it, Saige. He’s your brother! I scolded myself.
Junior and I are really close. Probably closer than any of our other siblings—well, he’s close with all of our brothers, but that’s another story. Junior’s single and he’s very good looking. Whoa… Where did that come from? I shook my head and nestled close to him. He was wearing blue jeans with boots and a black tank top that stretched across his muscled chest. Stop it, Saige. He’s your brother! I scolded myself.
            “You should stay with me in Miami this summer” He whispered in my ear, his southern drawl thick as I jumped faintly.
            “You know I volunteer during the summers” I stated as he chuckled.
            “Volunteer in Miami. They need it” He told me.
I had actually been looking into volunteering in Miami. The local food banks and Meals on Wheels needed some people and I loved doing that type of work. I’ve noticed the looks that Junior’s been giving me even though he tries to hide it. Should I tell him?
***
Junior
            Well shit. I think she knows. I sighed softly and rolled my shoulders. I’ve noticed her checking me out and I couldn’t help but do it when she wasn’t looking—but Saige isn’t stupid. Far from it, actually. She deserves to be happy; damn these were-laws. We have the same mom, but a different dad, but we’re still siblings. Does that bother me? No. Does the age bother me? Eh. Not really. Then what’s the problem? I thought as I watched her talking with Rose. Those fucking dreams are driving me crazy, but I’ve been able to keep business and pleasure separate. Thank God. What I do is dangerous and she knows that. She doesn’t seem to be weirded out that her older brother wants to get into her pants (though she doesn’t know it). I have a feeling she knows.
***
Saige
            I know that he wants me. Maybe I was mistaken when we were sleeping in his bed after falling asleep watching movies that he was pressed up hard against me and something was poking me. I had rolled out of bed and left before he woke up, just to avoid the embarrassment. It’s not uncomfortable or anything, it’s just a little surprising. Ember had fallen in love with Dawg (His real name is James), one of Mark’s younger brothers and they’re happily married. Mark wouldn’t speak to both of them for a few months before mom finally had enough. Now everybody is happy as can be.
            Anyway, I was teasing and taunting Junior like I always do—it’s our playful banter. We both love it, but this time, it was different. We were out in the stables, getting our horses ready for a ride when it happened.
            “Do you remember how to ride a horse?” I teased
            “I remember” was his husky response
            “How hard do you ride the horse?” I asked as he suddenly pushed me against the stall, leaning close to my ear

            “You wanna know how hard, doll?” He growled huskily in my ear, “If you keep taunting and teasing me anymore, then I’ll bend you over my knee and paddle your little ass and make you scream my name. I’ll ride you hard.” With that, he pulled away, got on his horse and rode off. My face was beat red, but I was aroused and he knew it. My eyes were wide as I calmed down for a few minutes before joining him shortly. 
***
            I awoke at 8:30 this morning and started on my chores. I had the outside while Kimber had the inside. We switch it every day and then on the weekends, we both do inside and outside. Now that Justin and Kieran and Kira are older, they also have chores that they do. Anyway, I mowed the lawn this morning and weeded the gardens, cleaned out the stables, so that took a good few hours. But also, because the older kids are back, they’re doing chores too! It really helped a lot. My dad doesn’t know that Junior and I had sex last night—I wonder what his reaction is going to be. He’s pretty protective of me and our mom just said she saw it coming. My mom has visions and she knows things. She’s a great mom—I wouldn’t trade her for the world. Look at how all of us have turned out!
            Right now, I just finished lunch and I’m playing football with my brothers—minus Junior—who was helping Mark out at the school (Being Ref). Junior’s real name is Mark William Calaway Jr. So, everybody just calls him Junior or MJ. I love playing football with my brothers, like I had said earlier. It’s funny to watch Gabe and Cena play against each other. Cena used to play football before he joined the WWE and Gabe’s been really awesome about it. He loves it—even from a young age. He has a gift for it and it’s paid off.
***
            A half an hour later finds me doing my laundry. I had asked mom to keep a washer and dryer open for me and she did, so I’m doing my laundry so she can keep on doing the rest. Rose walked into the laundry room and smiled at me. She was wearing shorts and a tank top, her hair braided as she wore flip flops. I smiled back and pulled out my sketch book, finding a perch to sit on while I waited for my laundry to be done.
            “I heard that your team won today” She said, settling across from me as I nodded, showing her the bruises.
            “Damn, Saige…” She stated, laughing as I shrugged.
            “Oh well. I love it. Gives me something to do” Was my reply
We talked for until my laundry was done about this and that, her job, school, vacations, guys, and other things sister’s talk about. I loved talking to Rose about stuff—just like I do all of my other sisters. Once I had my laundry in my laundry hamper, I headed upstairs; the entire window and patio/balcony/doors were open to air out the house, seeing as it was really breezy and coolish outside. My windows were open as I made my way upstairs. I opened my door, walked inside and when I shut it and turned back around, Junior was sitting on my bed, watching me.
***
            I set my laundry hamper on the foot of my bed and began to fold and put my clothes away. The radio played softly in the background and my fish swam in his tank. I have a blue male beta fish and that was fine with me.
            “You going to talk to me?” Junior’s southern drawl knocked me out of my musings as I shrugged.
            “Talk to you about what?” I had asked, looking at him
            “I don’t know. I watched you play today” He stated, watching me
His eyes were a sunset amber as he relaxed against my headboard.
            “Oh? We won.”
            “I know. Good game” He stated as my lips twitched faintly as I thanked him.
My laptop started beeping as I wandered over to it and opened it. It was an email from Lulu, letting me know that she was going to visit. I responded and just left my laptop open. I have a MacBook Pro and I love it. I also have another Mac that used to be Frost’s. She let me have it after she had bought a new one when she and Alex moved. That’s sitting over in the other corner of my room, plugged in and with my tablet and other art supplies. She left the SAI paint art program on there, so I use that all the time. I also have a DA account (Deviantart account). My user name is Alice.deviantart.com. I know, it’s not very creative, but my pen name (For writing and what I sign my drawings with) is ‘Alice’. My favorite book/movie is Alice in Wonderland and I’ve always wanted a cat like the Cheshire.
I had let mom and Cena know that Lulu was stopping by (Even though she lives in Connecticut), she can do what mom can do—teleport. I can do it too, but it makes me really tired afterward. Once I finished putting my laundry away, I put the hamper back beside my dresser and settled at my art desk. The sun shone into my room as I felt a peace settle over me. Of course, Junior was still here and we had talked while I put my clothes away. I told him I was still thinking about going back to Miami with him, but I wasn’t sure yet. When I need to think about something, I always go to my art. For some reason, it relaxes me a lot. If my art doesn’t help, then I’ll go for a horseback ride. My horses name is Destiny and we have a close bond, I would like to think.
            After booting up the Mac, I began to get lost in my thoughts.
***
            I was shaken out of my thoughts several hours later by my dad pounding on the door. I looked at my drawing and realized how beautiful it was. A lot of attention to detail, a lot of attention to the entire frickin’ thing! I saved it and stretched, groaning softly as I rubbed my now numb butt. Walking over to the door, I opened it and smiled at him.
            “Hey. What’s up?” I asked as he smiled faintly.
            “Dinner” He informed me as my eyes widened.
            “What time is it?” I asked
            “Almost 6pm… Why?” He asked as my eyes widened more.
Holy. Crap. I had been drawing for six hours. Darn. That’s a new record! Though, I did get some thinking done. My poor dad… He doesn’t know what Junior and I had done last night, but I knew that I had to eventually tell him.
***
            Shawn had made meat loaf for dinner. It was okay, not the best, but it was food and I was hungry. I just slathered ketchup and grape jelly on it and ate it. I’m allergic to Strawberries and pears, as well as seafood.
***
            Have I told any of you how much I enjoy reading? I mean… I really love reading. The ranch has a built in library and the sad thing is, I’ve read every book in there. I mean, every book; isn’t that sad? Anyway, they just built a new bookstore—it’s HUGE! So many different levels (Kind of like Powell’s in Portland, OR); I’m so excited to go—Az is taking me and I know that I’ll be in there for a few hours at least. I think I’m in heaven!
***
            I feel kind of bad for my dad; Az and I are hanging out and bonding and stuff, while my dad and I don’t really…have a bond. It’s awkward between us and I really wish that it wasn’t. Dad has a close bond with Frost, but I wonder why not with me? I take into account on what he likes and with Father’s Day on Sunday… What do I get him? A card? I’ll get him tickets to his favorite show! I spent what little allowance I had on the tickets (Which cost about…200$ and that’s cheap) and when I walked into the living room, Frost was handing him the same tickets with a smile on her face. I felt my heart drop and a sense of… betrayal and hurt came over me. I ripped the tickets and ran out of the house. Running as fast as my legs would carry me as I shifted to gain better ground. Tears flooded my eyes as I ran hard and fast. I didn’t know where I was running, but I was just running. He found me at a small river as I glared.

***

Monday, June 3, 2013

Living a Fool's Dream

Living a Fool’s Dream

When are you going to realize that what you consider home, I don’t?
When are you going to realize that I don’t care?
You say that I’m too young to understand
That I’ll know what you’re all talking about when I grow up
But you don’t seem to realize that I have a clue
You always loved her more than me
Whenever she’s around, I become non-existent
You can try to deny it, but we all know the truth
I am nothing but a shadow of your former pride
I am nothing but a shell of what you perceive
I am nothing but Cinderella
The only difference is that nobody treats me
Like I’m just a slave, the help
Can’t you see how hard I’m fighting for freedom?
Can’t you see how uncomfortable I am here?
You tell me how much you love me
That you love us both the same
Heck, she even says it
But how can I believe your words
When you’re never home?
You may brag to her about me
But don’t you see that it doesn’t matter
One reported, I’m in the system for life
You’ve just created a label for me
I’ll be known as the trouble maker
The worry child
They’re all afraid I’ll bring a gun to school
They’re worried I’ll shoot up the joint
Or bring a knife and stab and slit some throats
Thanks for creating that label for me
Maybe they’ll have you put me on meds
To try and control me
You may deny it
But we all know that you want me to be normal
What is “normal”, anyway?
I used to be happy way back when
I have happy memories
But I wonder what happened to them
Did I just wake up one morning
And have you decide that I’m not her?
I’m done trying to please you
I’m done trying to make you happy
I’m done being your puppet
So here I go
I cut my strings
Watch me fall to the floor
Watch me pick up the pieces
Watch me be strong and survive without you
I may be young, but I’m strong
I may not have life experiences, but I have my memories
To you, I am weak
To you, I am nothing
To you, I won’t submit
Cut me off
Do whatever you have too
To destroy my memory from your mind
To me, I am strong
To me, I am something
To me, I will submit
I will submit to my darkest memories
I will submit to my strongest desires
I will submit to my weakest moments
Without you, I will survive
After all, you have her
I am just a girl to you
To you, I am non-existent
But to me, I believe
I believe in the hope
I believe in the love
I believe that one day, I will be complete
I believe in my dreams
Where I am weak, I am strong
Where I am sad, I’m happy
Who says that I need you?
You are nothing but a shallow memory to me
In my mind, you cannot hurt me
In my mind, you are the one that I love
How shallow my mind is
To actually believe in all that crap
You can have your memories
You can have your happiness
You can have her
You can have anything you want
Just because you are you
But there’s something you can’t have
You can’t have me