Living a Fool's Dream

Living a Fool’s Dream

When are you going to realize that what you consider home, I don’t?

When are you going to realize that I don’t care?

You say that I’m too young to understand

That I’ll know what you’re all talking about when I grow up

But you don’t seem to realize that I have a clue

You always loved her more than me

Whenever she’s around, I become non-existent

You can try to deny it, but we all know the truth

I am nothing but a shadow of your former pride

I am nothing but a shell of what you perceive

I am nothing but Cinderella

The only difference is that nobody treats me

Like I’m just a slave, the help

Can’t you see how hard I’m fighting for freedom?

Can’t you see how uncomfortable I am here?

You tell me how much you love me

That you love us both the same

Heck, she even says it

But how can I believe your words

When you’re never home?

You may brag to her about me

But don’t you see that it doesn’t matter

One reported, I’m in the system for life

You’ve just created a label for me

I’ll be known as the trouble maker

The worry child

They’re all afraid I’ll bring a gun to school

They’re worried I’ll shoot up the joint

Or bring a knife and stab and slit some throats

Thanks for creating that label for me

Maybe they’ll have you put me on meds

To try and control me

You may deny it

But we all know that you want me to be normal

What is “normal”, anyway?

I used to be happy way back when

I have happy memories

But I wonder what happened to them

Did I just wake up one morning

And have you decide that I’m not her?

I’m done trying to please you

I’m done trying to make you happy

I’m done being your puppet

So here I go

I cut my strings

Watch me fall to the floor

Watch me pick up the pieces

Watch me be strong and survive without you

I may be young, but I’m strong

I may not have life experiences, but I have my memories

To you, I am weak

To you, I am nothing

To you, I won’t submit

Cut me off

Do whatever you have too

To destroy my memory from your mind

To me, I am strong

To me, I am something

To me, I will submit

I will submit to my darkest memories

I will submit to my strongest desires

I will submit to my weakest moments

Without you, I will survive

After all, you have her

I am just a girl to you

To you, I am non-existent

But to me, I believe

I believe in the hope

I believe in the love

I believe that one day, I will be complete

I believe in my dreams

Where I am weak, I am strong

Where I am sad, I’m happy

Who says that I need you?

You are nothing but a shallow memory to me

In my mind, you cannot hurt me

In my mind, you are the one that I love

How shallow my mind is

To actually believe in all that crap

You can have your memories

You can have your happiness

You can have her

You can have anything you want

Just because you are you

But there’s something you can’t have

You can’t have me