Sam

Best friends. You're the only one I really trust to bitch about to my dad and share the crap he pulls!

K

Hm, Gee... Facebook friends? I don't know. I don't even know what we are. Best friends as close as sisters? Friends? God knows how stressed out I am.

Sam

Sam. You don't suck. You aren't annoying. I like you just the way you are! Besides, who else gets my brand of insanity?
Kat

I guess I'll just leave. Sorry for wasting your time. You can find better friends than me anyway. What does it matter anyway? I'm annoying, I suck, etc.

Sam

Adri

Adri,
       I'm very glad she does. I try to make them as special as I can. And I'm glad I have you, too. I love you so much, baby...
       God, is she ever... I be happy if you did. And she'd love learning from you. I know you can make it fun for her.
       I know! She's such a cutie, too! I'm glad they're trying. They really seem like they love each other so much when they aren't fighting. And Justice... God... So adorable! Jinny... She loves it a lot, too. And Steve seems so good with their kids.
       They both are! Hell, I don't see how even Kat and Loki keep up with them when they watch them both! It's like they feed off each other's energy!
       I always will, Adri. You have my word.

<3 p="p">

Ben

Ben

Ben,

                Mica told me this morning that you’re the best daddy in the whole world. She says that she loves you a lot and she understands and knows that you work a lot to try and support her. She says that she cherishes the time you both have. She also says that she’s really glad that you found someone you can love.

                God… She’s growing up so fast. Soon, she’ll be in the 1^st grade—she asked me if I would homeschool her now that I’m not in college anymore. The president of the university said that I needed to take my vacation time. I told her I’d talk to you about it.

                Brook is growing too. I can’t believe she’s two already! Amber is doing a lot better now. Little Justice is growing up a lot and she and Justin are really trying to make it work. Jinny is in medical school—studying away and staying up all night.

                Dear. God. Jeremy is a ball of energy. Between him and Michael, I don’t know what to tell you. But Aunt Sam has the energy to keep up with both of them!

                Keep loving me, Ben. I’ll love you and Mica forever.

Love,

Adri

Adri

Adri,
       She is! especially when she's interested in something and really takes a liking to it!
       I don't blame you. I had a thing for your voice as soon as I met you. How your accent got more noticable when you get into something you enjoy, how it thickens when we're lovin' on each other... And I'm glad she didn't. Would've been kind of hard to explain what we were doin'.
       Heck naw! They're fun to be around. And I'm glad they took a liking to you as much as I did. Same with Mitchell and Gavin.
       Oh, I don't intend to!
       I know! I love her for that.

<3 p="p">

Ben

Ben

Ben,

                I would be honored to be Mica’s mommy. I love her so much. She’s fun to be around! The things she comes up with sometimes!

                I’ve loved you since we first met also. I have a thing for accents, too. Especially last night… how husky your voice got, how thick your accent got… Mica didn’t even wake up to see what all the screaming was about!

                Bella and Carrie had bets over to see how long it would take us to get together. Carrie won the bet. Can’t help but love them, right?

                Brad and Rachel won’t be back bothering us. I told my Aunt Sam what was going on and she made them…”Disappear.” Word of advice, NEVER make my Aunt Sam pissed off. Ever.

                Mica likes the idea of coming to school with me. She said with you working nights, it gives us a chance to have “girl time” as she put it. She’s really something else, Ben. She’s very special and very smart.

Love,

Adri 

Adri

Adri,
       Thank you. She is, isn't she? She loves learning, too.
       She is, and I don't blame her. She knows we like each other... And she loves you. She wants you to be her mommy so much.
       I don't blame you on her. She's no good for her. They only good that came from that relationship is Mica.
       I love you too, Adri. Have since we first met.
       I don't mind if you do. I'd rather have you sit her too. She loves you so much.
       So do I, Adri. And I don't mind if you raid my closet. I've noticed you eyeing it. I'm glad they don't mind, and that they love Mica.

<3 p="p">

Ben

Ben

Ben,

               

                You have the most cutest and polite little girl. Everybody can see that she’s the apple in your eye. She’s a very curious little one, too.

                She’s trying so hard to get us together. When’s her birthday? She called me mommy last night. I was putting her to bed and she said, “Nini, mommy. I wove you!” I swore I got a tear in my eye.

                I hope that bitch of an ex-wife never comes back. That might sound bad, but I don’t want to see you or Mica hurt… especially Mica.

                I love you, Ben. Even if you don’t love me back (which we all know you do).

                I want to see you and Mica happy. They have a day care at the college, so if you have to work a day shift or something, I can take her with me. She said that she doesn’t want anybody else to babysit her.

                I love being around you. You’re funny and know how to have a good time. Not to mention, I want to raid your closet. Even though I’m with Keith and Barney, I want us to be a couple. They have no problem with you and they love Mica.

Love,

Adri

Adri

Baby,
       That's something we never understood either. Ben's a good father to his babygirl. You can hear how much he loves her whenever he talks about her And I'm glad he trusts you to take care of her. He had a few babysitters that didn't like how long he worked some nights, or just babysat her for the money so they could get drugs. Not the best sitters for her.
       So do we. He deserves it after all the shit he and Mica've been through. And I'm glad she likes you. She seems to think of you as her adopted mommy.
       I know... We were worried as hell...
       Mhm. The lounge is more for just relaxing.
       I don't blame you, baby. Maybe we should talk about letting them teach you some things. With conditions of course.

Love,

Keith and Barney

Keith/Barney

Keith/Barney,

                I’m not worried. Mica is Ben’s life. Ever since his bitch of a wife left him with their infant daughter—claiming that she wasn’t ready to be a mother yet. Which is total bullshit. How could anybody just…abandon that sweet little girl? Oh yeah, and Ben too. ;P

                I really hope that Ben find somebody he really likes. Mica will always be his first priority. He’s asked me to babysit a lot more now that I’m out of school and I happily accepted. His daughter and I get along very well.

                It was a close call with our own child… If I would’ve lost our child…I don’t know what I would’ve done… Probably tried to kill myself.

                Of course, having sex in the lounge of the club is against policy, but having sex in the main room is fine. I’ve seen Gavin take Bella against the pool table before. Same with others, screwing on tables, etc.

                Bella and Carrie keep asking me to join them with Mitchell and Gavin. I told them that I don’t share my masters… But I can’t help but be curious as to what Gavin and Mitchell know…

Love,

Adri

Adri

Adri,
      I agree, baby. And I'm glad you did. It brightens the place up so much. Wonder what else we forgot about stashing away... I gotta explore.
       I don't blame him. And his daughter's cute, too. She's his life outside of the club. I'm glad she likes you so much.
       By everyone at the club, especially. I know... You act so much more mature than your age. So are we, baby.
       just trying to pace them out so we don't freak you out a lot.
       They accept us because they like all of us, baby. They don't want to see us in trouble, so don't worry about them reporting us.

Love,

Barney and Keith

Keith/Barney

Keith/Barney,

                Nobody should be alone for Christmas… I went exploring in the club and found a box of forgotten Christmas decorations. I’m glad that they all like it.

                I know… Ben… He likes the Christmas decorations. We’ve had coffee a few times since you’ve brought me to the club. I’ve met his daughter too—Mica. She’s the cutest little 2 year old! Curly blonde hair and she’s got Ben’s eyes and smile. She likes me; Ben asked me to baby sit for him while he did his shift at the club.

                I know. Our baby is going to be very well loved… I feel like I should be 16 or something…Not 14. I have an IQ of 187. Of course I’ll be happy out of school!

                I know that you both have a lot more to teach me about the BDSM lifestyle. I know that you’ve both had fantasies about what you’d like to do to me… What are you waiting for? Me to get older? 

                I’m just worried that you both could go to jail… Everybody at the club seems cool about us…

Love,

Adri

Adri

Adri,
       I can't wait til our baby's born! The little one is going to be very well loved by all of us. And very well protected.
       I love how comfortable you've made the condo and club. The members have already commented on how much more time they've spent out talking to each other since you've decorated for Christmas instead of just in the rooms. They like that they're getting to really know the other masters and pets much better now. Even Ben's noticed that he's had to break up fewer fights and had fewer rowdy members to escort out. And the members are planning a club-wide Christmas party, too.
       Think you'll be happier out of school?

        Love,

Keith and Barney

Adri

Adri,
       It's not your fault. We aren't doing enough to keep you aroused. And I'm sorry for being so damn vanilla.

 Keith and Barney

Guys

Maybe it's me... I just... I can't stay aroused...
It's not your fault...
I thought that it would be exciting... To have masters... But it's just...boring... I look at how Gavin/Bella and Carrie/Mitchell are... I want that...
I heard the rumors about you guys... But then when you get to me... You're both just...boring and vanilla... What happened?

Maybe you should just take the collar off and I'll move back to the ranch... Or maybe I'll move to another country...


Adri

Adri

Adri,
         I'm glad, baby. I'm happier now with you. I'm not worried, baby. I love seeing you so happy with us both.
       Then move in with Keith and me. I'd love it if you did, Adri. I've been waiting for you to ask.
    I'm glad you like your collar. I though of you when I saw it. I'm glad most people don't recognize it for what it is.
    They like you for who you are, how caring you are, how loving. They respond to that. They like it. And they like how homey you've made the club, how much more cheerful.

Love,

Keith and Barney

Barney/Keith

Barney/Keith,

                I feel more…complete; I feel like I’m not missing another part of me. I finally feel…happy. Don’t get me wrong, Barney. I was happy before, but now… I’m just…MORE happy.

                I can’t live at the ranch anymore… All my stuff will still be there, Aunt Sam and Uncle Mark said I could keep it in the bedroom that I’ve been using.

                I like my collar… It sparkles… I’ve only had it on for what… a day or two? It feels weird when I take it off. A lot of people think it’s just a choker (Which was what I was hoping they would go for). I got a lot of complements on it.

                I’ve talked with a few members of the club and they all seem really nice. I talked with a few of the female members, too. They didn’t mind answering my questions…in fact; they seemed to enjoy it as their masters watched on happily.

                I want to move in with you, Keith… The ranch… I don’t feel comfortable there… But I need to have Barney with me…

Adri

Adri

Adri,
       It wasnt' all the time. We got our fair share of rejection, and got into arguements when one of us wanted to share and the other didn't. When you came into our lives, you were the only one we agreed 100% completely on. To us you are special, you are precious, you are a gift. You always will be. Let us drive your nightmares away, keep you safe from the jackasses who want to hurt you. We'll do anything we can to make sure you stay safe, Adri.
       We'll ease you into it. We'll make sure you're comfortable with what we do every step of the way, even when it means denying ourselves something we like.
       I feel the same way when you're not here. I feel like something's missing every time you leave. And Sty... Can kiss my ass if she has a problem with us. She's too damn protective, anyway.
       We found our somebody better in you, baby. We like you for who you are, damage and all.
       Adri, we'll go at the pace you want. Just know, we love you. We respect you. We won't stop, no matter what.

Keith and Barney

Keith/Barney

                It must be so easy for you both… To get any woman you want… Having to share them… Then you come across me… I’m not special; I’m not precious; I’m not a gift; I’m just a thing to be used and thrown away… I keep having nightmares about the rape… considering it nearly happened again… I want too… I want to wear the collar…so bad… But my nightmares keep my…”desires” at bay… I get scared… I hate that…

                I know that you and Barney will take care of me… I know how you both share your females… I know how kinky you both can get… How can I handle you two if I can barely handle real sex? Ask Barney what we’ve done… Hell, I couldn’t even take all of him when I gave him a blow job…

                You know that I love Barney… But I feel as if a part of me is…Missing when you’re not around. I really don’t give two craps if Sty hates you or not. She’s going to have to deal with it or I’m moving out of the ranch.

                I’m trying to put my fears and nightmares behind me… But I’m always second guessing myself… You and Barney both could find somebody better…Hell, you’ve got a club full of women who would happily do what you say… Along with their masters…

                I don’t trust very easy… It took me a hella long time for me to even trust Barney… I need to go slow… But at the same time… I want you and Barney to show me things…

Adri

Adri

Adri,
       I don't blame them for being leery of me just because of the rumors. But I'd never hurt you, shelve you or let someone els fuck you in the unlikely case I grew tired of you.
       I can see how much you and Barney love each other, how much you like being around each other, how much he comforts you on the bad days, even when you don't want to admit it. You... Bring out the caring dominate part of me, Adri. Do I care that you're inexperienced? No. Means I get to explore things I'd almost forgotten about as I show you stuff. But I will never force you into something you aren't comfortable with. I like rough sex sometimes, but never rape. I'm willing to help you with the bad days and share your good days with you.
       I will never use you, baby. You're too precious a gift to abuse like that. Don't worry about deciding about us right away. Take thetime you need. And I don't mind you keeping the bond with Barney. He's your safety, your mate, your lover.

Keith

Keith

Keith,

                I’ve heard all the rumors about you. Barney and Sty have warned me about you… How you’ll just hurt me… I have to admit… The idea of being your ‘pet’ thrills me… At the same time, though, being somebody that you could just…shelf or let somebody else handle when you get tired of me… That part unnerves me…

                I’m totally and completely in love with Barney… but at the same time… I feel something towards you too… Maybe it’s the thrill of having you are dominating… Having you dominate me… But you’ve heard what happened to me… How I have my good days and how I have my bad days… How inexperienced I am…

                I want you and Barney both… But I refuse to be a toy for you to use. I love how you dominated me… But not too much that it made me uncomfortable… I want you to teach me more… A part of me wants to be drawn into your BDSM world… But a part of me wants to stay in my safe place with Barney…Where he takes it slow…

Adri

Olivia

Olivia,
       Would you want to? We aren't going to blame you one bit if you do.
       Let us do more of the housework, Olivia. Don't fight us so much about it! We've reduced our working hours so we can be home more and take care of you and Theo both. We don't expect you to over stress yourself again.
       No, you weren't. We never wanted that for you. Did that get messed up? Yes. But it's going to be fixed, damnit.
       Let us take care of you, Olivia. Please.

Mom and Dad

Mom and dad

Mom and Dad,

                I got offered to live in Louisiana… Gramma offered. She said, “A girl like you would do with some Southern love. We got plenty of it!”

                I’m 14 years old… Yet, I have to take care of Theo, myself, school, my job, keeping the house clean, cooking, laundry… The only part you two do is paying the bills. I’m tired of it. I want some “me” time. I want time to hang out with Becki.

                Was I born so I could do all the work at home? Yes, I understand that you both work for SHEILD and that dad is the director…

                I’m just…I’m done. I’m stressed…My body cannot handle the stress anymore… I cry myself to sleep sometimes.

Olivia

Sam

Darlin',
       I'm doing good. I'm glad our family's back together. Feels more like home with everyone here.
       He was. Hm... I'm grateful to have you as my wife... Glad our kids are all healthy... Grateful our pack is still holding strong.
       Mmm, I'm glad you enjoyed it, darlin'. It's always worth the wait.
       He does. But he's got your laugh and smile. Clint told me... He's been sticking closer than ever to her, just in case she needs him. I really don't blame him, either.
      

Mark

Mark,

                How are you, my darling? I’m doing quite well. The entire clan is together again!

                I saw how you got when that guy came up to me and Jeremy when we were out grocery shopping… That guy was a fucking creeper! What 3 things that you’re grateful for? (You can give more if you want, even though I have a faint idea).

                I love it when you got me last night. We haven’t had sex in a while. This quarter has been hectic and busy. Thank you for being patient! J

                God, Jeremy looks just like the both of us. He has your eyes and nose, and a few of Marcus’s features. He’s growin’ like a weed, too. Speaking of, have you seen how much Krissy and Athena have grown?! Krissy is one and Athena is two! So many grandbabies… But they are so worth it! I get to spoil them rotten! Mwahaha! We almost lost Piper, baby… When she gave birth to Katie… Almost…

                I wish that it would snow… Maybe at the ranch it’ll start snowing soon. *pout*

I love you always and forever,

Sam

Kat

Kat,

                Last night was bad; I’m so sick of all the Nate drama. That brat can’t learn to keep his hands to himself. Hell, some of the younger kids at the ranch have watched him and they’re better than he is!!!

                I’m not going to keep you from your game on Facebook. You like it.       

                I like talking to you on IM… It’s just I sit there waiting and waiting for you to respond (BRB’s don’t count).

                I’m sick of being stressed; I’m sick of being sick…

                Thanksgiving is next week. What are your plans? I’m helping mom make the turkey and all the trimmings—while I get the pie. I will be damned if that snot nosed brat will ruin my Thanksgiving. You’ll see a mushroom cloud if he fucks up Christmas! Mom and I are going to get the turkey tomorrow.

                School is going okay. Finals are Dec 10-12 and then I’m on break from Dec 12-Jan 2^nd. I can’t believe it’s almost 2013! I’ll be 20 soon! Holy shit!

                How have you been? How’s the weather? I’m excited because everybody is coming back to the ranch for Thanksgiving! Yay!

Sam

Adri

Adri,
       I'm not gonna let the hormones get in the way of us talking. We need to, without the BS that usually pops up.
       I'm not angry at her for it. I'm glad she's there when I can't be. And honestly? I'd rather be there right now. Yeah, I know Toby and Amber want me with them too, but it's driving me nuts, being torn in two between you and the ranch and them at home.
       I'm not gonna ask or demand that you do. Yes, I love him, but I don't completely trust him, and he knows it. Oscar... Can do what he wants where Loki is concerned, as long as he knows Loki's history.
       The rape was not your fault. If anyone's to blame, it's me for makin' Dave late. You are always going to be worth it, Adri, no matter what. We will always love you. And I'm glad you're not so skinny. You will always be worth the time I spend withyou, and the money I spend to help.
       I miss you too, baby...
       I will.

Mom

Mom (Kat)

Mom,

                I guess I’ll write you a letter instead of telling you. To “clear the air” as people would call it; I’m hesitant in telling you anything because of how you’ve responded in the past—and your pregnancy hormones would only make it worse (I think).

                Yes, I know that you love me and you won’t stop. Ever since you’ve moved off the ranch, it’s been different. You’re no longer greeting me a good morning or having my favorite breakfast waiting for me when I leave for school… I guess Aunt Sam’s been there, caring for me (don’t get angry at her).

                I don’t trust Loki. Period. I know that you love him and that you’re carrying his child now—but that doesn’t mean that I have to like him. Congratulations to Oscar for liking and trusting him.

                Maybe it’s the rape that did all this too me. It’s nobody’s fault but my own. I hate having you spend your money on stupid ol’ me when it could be used for something more important—something better. I’m still too skinny, but I don’t look like pure skin and bones. I can fit into sizes 6-10, extra small-medium (I can fit into larger shirts…).

                Do I hate you? No, I don’t. You gave me life… I just wish that you were around more. I can’t talk to you about…girly things. Why? Because you’re my mother… I’m not complaining. I just…kinda miss you.

                Tell Amber and Toby that Barney and I say hello. School is fine.

Adri

Phil

Dad,

                I know that you deserve to be happy… To have someone to marry or something… I’m not saying that I disapprove of Kat… I just think it’d be better if I went back to England… From what I’ve seen, Kat is really nice and cool… But you’d spend all your time with her.

                America was nice…Really. I just got here and starting to know you… But I can’t feel like I’m losing you at the same time… I guess that’s just me.

                I guess I don’t know what else to say.

Becki

Adri

Baby,
       I'm never leaving you, baby. I love you entirely, and I love how close we are. I love hearing your laughter brightening the house again. The fit... It really was bad. I hated seeing you hurting yourself because of it.
       Of course I'll happily share a room with you. And I like that feeling. I like knowing I can talk to you.
       I know, baby. I've talked to him and the others in the pack.
       I. Love. You. I always will. I'll teach you what I know. But I teach better by showing.

Love always,

Barney

Barn

Barney,

                As we grow closer together, I’m starting to realize that you’re not going away…haha… You make me laugh again… That fit…*sighs* it was really bad… I hate when I get like that…How I bite and claw and kick… Wanting to tear my hair out…

                I was thinking… Maybe we could share a room? We’re getting closer everyday… I feel like…I’ve known you forever. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy… I’m just 14…

                I really am a fun person… Honest… Ask Oscar…

                I said it. The three words. I’m hoping you’ll teach me more about sex, Barney… I know you’ll be a good teacher.

Love,
Adri

Mom

Mom,

                You promised me you wouldn’t go emo over me anymore! You promised. I guess I’m nothing but a screw up. Oscar says I should be put in a mental institution… Barney should just leave the pack so he never has to see me again…

                I hate who I am. I hate the fact that I was raped. I hate that I can’t be normal anymore…No matter how hard I try. I hate that I can’t fit into my own skin comfortably anymore. Maybe I should just go away and never come back.

                Maybe I should gain a bunch of weight so that nobody would even look twice at me. Maybe I should go bald… I hate myself. Maybe I should force myself to throw up and look unattractive.

Adri