It must
be so easy for you both… To get any woman you want… Having to share them… Then
you come across me… I’m not special; I’m not precious; I’m not a gift; I’m just
a thing to be used and thrown away… I keep having nightmares about the rape…
considering it nearly happened again… I want too… I want to wear the collar…so
bad… But my nightmares keep my…”desires” at bay… I get scared… I hate that…
I know
that you and Barney will take care of me… I know how you both share your
females… I know how kinky you both can get… How can I handle you two if I can
barely handle real sex? Ask Barney what we’ve done… Hell, I couldn’t even take
all of him when I gave him a blow job…
You
know that I love Barney… But I feel as if a part of me is…Missing when you’re
not around. I really don’t give two craps if Sty hates you or not. She’s going
to have to deal with it or I’m moving out of the ranch.
I’m
trying to put my fears and nightmares behind me… But I’m always second guessing
myself… You and Barney both could find somebody better…Hell, you’ve got a club
full of women who would happily do what you say… Along with their masters…
I don’t
trust very easy… It took me a hella long time for me to even trust Barney… I
need to go slow… But at the same time… I want you and Barney to show me things…
Adri
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