Degas II

Dad,

            I know that you love me…I know that you and mom are proud of me… that Thena isn’t your golden child… I’m sorry… I know that blaming my heat is a poor excuse… It’s been driving me and my wolf crazy and I thought the only way to make it stop was to run away… I guess that didn’t work out so well, did it?

            I know that you and mom love me and Athena the same… I guess I can’t help but feel a little jealous of her sometimes… Like all I am is a failure compared to her. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? I’m nothing like Athena. I can shift and she can’t. I’m better at certain things than her and we both play sports and our trophies are displayed throughout the house. My TKD medals are hanging in the living room too…

            God… How can any of you still love me after all that I said and did? I guess I just needed to reassurance that I’m not the ugly duckling… That I’m not some forgotten child… I just wish that you would come to some of my events too… You don’t know how much it hurts me when you don’t show up and when you choose to go to Athena’s games instead of my things… These braces are growing on me, though… I guess I’m just stressed. I’m a freshman in high school and it’s different and I signed up for some pre-AP classes (Along with the ones that are required).

            Don’t get me wrong, I do like high school. Athena has lunch with me sometimes, I mean, she’s graduating next year and all… Getting into the university she’s always wanted to get into… Summer is almost here and I was thinking about going to art camp or something that that… They have this really cool art program that lasts the entire summer in Greece. It’s so pretty in Greece (So I hear). I’ve been saving up, so that I don’t have to ask you or mom… Then they have this soccer camp in Mexico and my Spanish is fluent…

            I just thought you should know that I want things back the way they were before I screwed everything up… I don’t want to be forgotten and I got an A on my pre-AP bio test… Same with my math tests… I have to do an art project where I have to draw who my hero is… I know that Athena gave up drawing because she saw and knew that I had a deep interest and knows how much I love it… She said, “People change all the time, little sister. If I see that you like something that I like, and then I’ll give it to you. Like drawing and stuff… I used to love doing it, but now I don’t have any time anymore because I’m getting ready to graduate and friends and school and work…You deserve to have it.”

            I wish I could do something about this heat… I don’t want to hide away… I just… I don’t know… I want you to be proud of me… To brag to your friends about me…I know that you’re gone on business trips and I’ve wanted to ask you if I can go with you, but I don’t want to be in the way… I just want that relationship back where I can come and talk to you if I have a problem or need advice… Same with Athena…I just screwed everything up because I didn’t know how to handle my heat…Maybe it’s because JB is hanging around more. Last spring I could hardly notice it… I just got bad cramps and my period…but this time… It feels like the cramps are ripping my guts out and stomping on them and lighting them on fire...

            I do love you and I do want to share things with you… I was just…out of line and I think that I’m a disappointment to you and the family… Maybe I’ll find another place to live, or maybe that’s just the heat talking… I wish it would just go away for the spring… Summer can’t get here fast enough… I don’t go into heat during the summer…

I love you,

Artemis

PS.

I am NOTHING like Kat.