Mark,

Mark,

It seems like everything was going so well... Then it all goes to shit and then I seem to close off and end up hurting you. Even though you say that you're fine. I can see that you're hurting. And it hurts me to know that I'm the one causing you all the pain. You changed me... And it scares me... Alot... What do you want me to say? I don't know what else to say... I love you and I know that you love me back. This isn't a break up letter... but it can be that if you want it to be. I just want to be my old self again... I look at you laying next to e and I'm wondering how the hell I even made you mine. You always say that its the mate bond... The tug... But I want another explanation. I know I keep asking you for one... But in all honesty, I'm just asking to make sure that I'm not dreaming... You know? You're such a carefree man... You'll do what you want. You're a total badass... I'm sure you're tired of me asking...

I didn't know what I was getting myself into when I came to live with you... Or when I married you... What could I say? Sure, at times I doubt us.. But who doesn't? Sure, at other times I don't even think about it all times. I miss the old me... You keep knocking down my blocks and keep pursuing them... What can I do? I don't want you to become obsessed with me... Thinking you need to be near me every five minutes. I'm not the girly or affectionate type. I won't say "I Love You" every five minutes. I liked how you treated me like one of the guys. Like I didn't have boobs. I really did love that... Now.. You treat me like I'm a woman... You treat me gently. You're way to forgiving... But I guess I'll take it like a man.

I do love you... We butt heads. Alot. We argue. but if we didn't argue, then I'd be slightly worried. I don't want us to be all lovey- dovey. Because, bluntly, I don't do chick flick moments.

Love,
Sam.