Mark III

Mark,

Damn you for getting me last night. I was fully prepared to go to sleep. Then you nuzzled my neck and your hands roamed my body, trying to wake me up out of my peaceful doze. When you finally did, you entwined our fingers together, and we cried out in pleasure together.

I don't know what happened last night, but I was really tired and frazzled out. Everybody is counting on me for the 30th and I don't want to let them down. Things are going in the shitter really fast and it won't slow down. I'm struggling just to keep up with the every day demands that are usually required of me.

I'm tired of people's bullshit and drama... I wish I could just go away, change my name, location, and everything about me if just to escape reality for awhile. I wish I was dead, that way when I go into "My Heaven" I'll be with you and at the Ranch forever.

My dad called me yesterday. He tried pulling the guilt trip over and over again. (He called twice). It didn't work, but for a split second, it did. Try as I mgiht, my shields are going to shit and I try everyday to get them to go back to being strong once again. Sometimes, your strength just isn't enough. Sometimes, I have to do shit on my own, even if it frightens me.

Tomorrow is Saturday and mom wants me to go on a trip with her. I'm all for it, it's just I wonder how long everything will take, I mean... I have alot of shit to do, but I wanna get away from my uncle, who's been pissing me off alot lately and he's making me feel like shit and he doesn't even realize it.

I'm writing you this letter because it seems like you're the only one who'll listen. The only one who hears my cries for help and my screams for sanity. I need to get away from reality. I need a break from life. I need to get the fuck out of here and I'm prepared to do it anyway possible.

Well, that's all I have to write, I guess.
Love,
Sam.