Rest in Peace

My body is nothing but a shell. The person that used to reside in it doesn't exist. I'm going through the motions, hoping that they don't notice the pain. And let me rest in peace. Let me rest in peace, let me get some sleep, let me take my love and put it in a hole six feet deep. A whisper in the dead girls ear doesn't make it real, what does it make it? Am I dead...or alive? In between?

I let Spike take advantage of me... I let him use me...Why? Because I wanted to feel...I wanted to know why I was brought back... I can't sleep... Can't eat... I'm not the same person I was...But I'll try. I was always brave and kind of righteous. Will I stay this way forever? Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor? Still, my friends don't know why I ignore the million things are more I should be dancing for...

There was no pain... No fear, no doubt, till they pulled me out of heaven... So that's my refrain, I live in hell, cause I've been expelled from heaven...I think I was in heaven...

I'm sorry for the pain I've caused... I wish we could go back...but we can't. Could it be you've lost me? Can't you find me again? I'll draw you a map... Please...

I need your love... I'm losing the love that I knew... Help me get it back... I push you away because I don't want to hurt you anymore. I need to be myself, just so I can make you happy... Be the same girl you loved... I'm sorry... I know you'll forgive me... You always do...